Demon Spawn

This blog is supposed to be about something that I feel strongly about. Well, something I feel strongly about is children. I am not a fan of kids, nor do I have patience for them. I never, ever, ever want to have kids. Why you ask? Because in today's society, I would be deemed a bad mother. I would not be my child's best friend. I would be their parent. I would punish them when they did wrong. If they came home with a bad grade, I would ask them what they did instead of running to the teacher demanding that they change the grade. I do not believe that children should be coddled. It's a tough world out there. If you don't teach them perseverance at a young age, they may never learn it. 

To be fair, though, there are other reasons that I do not wish to ever have children. One of those reasons is that I'm currently not financially stable enough to support another life, and I don't see this changing to that extreme anytime soon. I am financially stable enough for me, however. Another reason is that there is so much to see in this world. Beautiful places and exotic locations. There is no ounce of me that pictures a vacation with a child in tow. 

Granted, maybe some of my view on having children is linked to that fact that I have no idea how to deal with them. In my 27 years, I've held two children. The second one I wasn't too worried about dropping since I've seen him fall over from a sitting position and hit his head on the floor, in which he had no response and the mother started laughing. Now that kid is going places!

And if by some freak accident of nature occurs and have a child, I hope that he or she would make me as proud as this momma has to be of her boy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Rf5qDuq7M

Five Ways to Win My Heart

1. Be passionate about my passions. Tennis, traveling, and Alpha Delta Pi are those said passions. Actually, I think I'll retract that first sentence. Although being passionate about my passions would be fantastic, I think I'm okay with being allowed to be passionate about my passions. Be supportive of me being addicted to tennis instead of making fun of me for it. Listen to me vent when my sorority makes me want to rip my hair out. Take trips with me or just be willing to visit new things in the area. 
2. Allow me to be me. I'm a strange being. I'm proud of being strange. There is no other me in this world. I'm blunt. I laugh at myself. I'm too sarcastic for my own good. I'm open minded and allow others to be their true self. I'm completely okay if you don't like me, just don't try to change me to benefit you.
3. Be yourself. I do not want to be with a sheep. I want you to have your own thoughts and opinions and be able to back them up. I want you to have your own passions and not care how dorky or nerdy they are. Be true to yourself. Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to me.
4. Respect me. I'm a lady, not a play thing. It does not get you any brownie points if you state your opinion on my body, except if you called me beautiful or pretty. Everyone knows that guys typically have on subject on their minds. Keep it as a thought and please don't verbalize it. It's usually not very becoming.
5. Spoil me. Okay, maybe not spoil me, but make me feel wanted. I want to know that you are thinking about me. For example: 'good morning' texts, flowers just because, little things just because they reminded you of me, taking me out.

Money for Nothing

A couple of weeks ago now, I was pulled into the office by my boss. I had not been previously called in for a meeting and had only been working there for about two months. Naturally, I was thinking, 'what'd I do?!?!' But then, she said she had to talk to another inspector first because she needed to be scolded. So then I figured that I wasn't getting in trouble or she would have just talked to me while I was there instead of calling me back later. Approximately one hour later, she called the assistant executive housekeeper to the office and then called me right after, saying she wanted to talk to us both together. So then I go in to this meeting and it starts with the executive housekeeper saying, "I've told you this before, but you remind me a lot of myself." She goes on to say that she thinks I'm bored in my position and thinks that I need to take on more responsibility and need to be challenged more. She asked if I would like to be a permanent opener and take over lost and found and basically be the next assistant in training. The only matter of business that still needs to be handled is that I think this should constitute a raise (my 90 days is coming up so I'm waiting until then). 

This whole situation got me thinking, though. I've told many people before that I do not think that money is the have all or end all of the world. My job can be very stressful. I take complaints from my housekeepers on a very regular basis. I get ignored by my fellow inspectors because they are high strung and I told them so. Also, I am pulled in a billion different directions on a regular basis. Even though it's stressful and causes over-stimulation, I love my job. To me, this is more important than making a lot of money. Call me crazy, but I would rather work at a place I love versus being absolutely miserable and having more money than I know what to do with. Granted, since moving back to Nebraska, I actually have fun money. I haven't been able to say that in years! I guess, in a nut shell, moving back to Nebraska was definitely the right decision. 

My Biggest Insecurity

"What's wrong with your face?" When I was working at Target, I would get asked this question almost daily, usually by a 7 or 8 year old child. Sometimes the parents would overhear and would be mortified that their child said that, but there was one time that the parent looked like they wanted an answer also. The one that took the cake, though, was just a couple of days ago. I was helping out the laundry staff since I didn't have any tasks to do and a 60 year old afghani woman asked me if I had seen a doctor.

I am 27 years old. I have had pretty severe acne since I was probably 13 years old. It wasn't that bad in college but ever since the fall of 2009, it's been uncontrollable. Before college, I was on amoxicillin because no product at the store helps me. I have been to a dermatologist and he was a flipping moron. When I studied abroad, the antibiotic stopped working because I just got used to it. Ever since, it's been more like a flesh eating bacteria vs. Acne.

Like previously mentioned, I have tried just about every product in the book, aside from acutane. For a time in Indiana, I was going to an aesthetician about every three weeks. This helped a lot! Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to go any longer and haven't gotten a chemical peel in probably a year. Currently, I just wash my face with cetaphil.

Acne has long been my biggest insecurity. I don't like people touching my face. I don't like to wear any type of foundation because it usually makes the acne worse. For the most part, I try to not stress about it because I'm trying to accept that there's really nothing I can do about it. The fact of the matter is, I'm embarrassed by it. I feel dirty. I wash my face. I don't eat complete junk. If I could have better skin, I would. That's another thing that I find interesting about this. My acne is only on my face and neck. I seldom get breakouts anywhere else.

I don't think I get taken seriously because of it. I think it's distracting in job interviews and that it turns off potential dates. However, I don't write this for a pity party. I write this because I want people to overall be more open minded. If I saw someone with a burn on their face, I would not ask them what's wrong with their face. I feel that acne is looked at as something that dirty people have and people that don't take care of themselves. I am clean and take pride in myself and my appearance (most of the time). I accept me for me and you for you. I don't try to change anyone I meet and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I just wish more people could look beyond the cover of the book and actually figure out what's written on the pages.

The Death Flu

I don't remember the last time that I got the flu. I don't actually remember the last time that I was legit sick, with the exception of crummy allergies. Apparently, the flu bug that I caught recently decided to make up for the missed time. I'm currently on day six with this crap. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling a little bit off but didn't think too much of it. That evening, I went to the store and got some medicine and some other things to attempt to ward it off. Thursday when I attempted to get up for the day, I realized that I was down for the count. Literally. I could barely even stand, let alone walk anywhere. I spent the entire day sleeping. Then on Friday, I had a little bit more gumption but still snoozed quite a bit. Saturday and Sunday I was awake all day, but only because I couldn't sleep because I've been so dang hungry. Today I was going to attempt work but then decided against it. I'm still debating on tomorrow. I'm also supposed to play tennis twice tomorrow. Not so sure if that's going to happen either. And to anyone wondering, no, I did not get the flu shot. I never do. I don't believe it's worth it. 

The Positives and Negatives of Nebraska

Due to recent events, I have been giving a lot of thought to moving back to Nebraska. There are many, many reasons why, although it will be extremely bittersweet if it happens. So without further ado, here are my list of pros and cons of Nebraska.

PROS:
1. RUNZA! For those that don't know what this is, the best way I can sum it up is delicious. 
2. Sarah, Jessie, Jen, Mallory, etc. Life is just no fun if you don't have your best friends to experience things with.
3. Family. Family has never really been that important to me, but it is nice to be close to them.
4. Carson's. Refer to #1.
5. Bearcat football! I don't even like football, but I like my alma mater and we do have the best division 2 team out there.
6. The ability to save money. Since I would be living with my dad, I would be able to save a lot of money by not having to pay rent, or electric, or cable, etc.
7. New car! For real, this is actually in my near future if I get a job and it would actually be a car that I want. 
8. Possibly continuing school. A Masters degree is on my bucket list. Moving back to Nebraska would allow me to pursue this.

CONS:
1. It takes forever to drive anywhere. I left Indiana on Thursday and came back on Sunday and in that time probably put almost 2,500 miles on my car. I'm sorry, Bonnie.
2. Spiders, bugs, and mice. My dad's house has a lot of all of these things.
3. Sulfur in the water. Seriously, Panama, NE has issues.
4. Beta Alpha. Chances are, I would have to leave my advising position with these wonderful women, but there is also a pro that I could become an advisor with Alpha Epsilon or possibly even Theta Alpha.
5. Tennis. Yes, there is tennis in Nebraska, but not near on the scale that it is in Indy. Beside, my team is highly entertaining.

I'm sure that I am missing points from both the pro and con list. Obviously the pros slightly outweigh the cons. Hopefully I will have more news related to this post in the very near future.

Run Away

"I don't think so, Lucy. I'm no longer marketable. The scandal will follow me, stick to me. No, if I took a job it would have to be as something obscure, like a ledger clerk, if they still have them, or a kennel attendant." "But if you want to put a stop to the scandal-mongering, shouldn't you be standing up for yourself? Doesn't gossip just multiply if you run away?"

This dialogue is from a novel by J.M. Coetzee titled Disgrace. The scandal that they are referring to is that the man has slept with one of his students (was a university professor) and the university wanted him to get counseling. He refused and decided to resign from his position and move out into the country with his daughter. I have about 90 pages left until I'm done with the book, so I will probably write my opinion on that later. Anyway...

The scandal portion of this isn't what sparked my interest in the quote. The park that did is the last question. I have known many people in my short life that have said they were going to pack up and leave because they wanted away from all of the 'drama'. Every time I had someone say this, I got really confused. I always wondered why they would rather leave everything that they know and try to start completely fresh versus just ignoring and cutting out the things in their lives that caused said drama. Chances are, if they ended up running away, the same problems that they were trying to run from would have just caught up with them in a few years and they would then have had to move again. It really would have been a vicious cycle. If they were really in a dramatic lifestyle, then they would have had the drama increase by them leaving. People would be talking about why they decided to leave, and with Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/etc, people would continue to talk about what they continued to post about their 'new' life. 

With the new age of social media, it just isn't possible to run away. Beside, running away is extremely selfish. No matter how bad it seems that your life is, there will be someone that misses you. In the long run, it's also much harder. Therefore, when things are going bad and just seem overly dramatic, you should confront what is making you unhappy or what is bad in your life. You should focus on making the necessary changes to become a better person for those around you and, more importantly, for yourself. I'd be willing to bet that there is at least one person that you can turn to for help in getting your life on a more positive track. Personally, I would prefer people talking about how awesome my life is versus them saying how unhappy I appear.