My Biggest Insecurity

"What's wrong with your face?" When I was working at Target, I would get asked this question almost daily, usually by a 7 or 8 year old child. Sometimes the parents would overhear and would be mortified that their child said that, but there was one time that the parent looked like they wanted an answer also. The one that took the cake, though, was just a couple of days ago. I was helping out the laundry staff since I didn't have any tasks to do and a 60 year old afghani woman asked me if I had seen a doctor.

I am 27 years old. I have had pretty severe acne since I was probably 13 years old. It wasn't that bad in college but ever since the fall of 2009, it's been uncontrollable. Before college, I was on amoxicillin because no product at the store helps me. I have been to a dermatologist and he was a flipping moron. When I studied abroad, the antibiotic stopped working because I just got used to it. Ever since, it's been more like a flesh eating bacteria vs. Acne.

Like previously mentioned, I have tried just about every product in the book, aside from acutane. For a time in Indiana, I was going to an aesthetician about every three weeks. This helped a lot! Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to go any longer and haven't gotten a chemical peel in probably a year. Currently, I just wash my face with cetaphil.

Acne has long been my biggest insecurity. I don't like people touching my face. I don't like to wear any type of foundation because it usually makes the acne worse. For the most part, I try to not stress about it because I'm trying to accept that there's really nothing I can do about it. The fact of the matter is, I'm embarrassed by it. I feel dirty. I wash my face. I don't eat complete junk. If I could have better skin, I would. That's another thing that I find interesting about this. My acne is only on my face and neck. I seldom get breakouts anywhere else.

I don't think I get taken seriously because of it. I think it's distracting in job interviews and that it turns off potential dates. However, I don't write this for a pity party. I write this because I want people to overall be more open minded. If I saw someone with a burn on their face, I would not ask them what's wrong with their face. I feel that acne is looked at as something that dirty people have and people that don't take care of themselves. I am clean and take pride in myself and my appearance (most of the time). I accept me for me and you for you. I don't try to change anyone I meet and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I just wish more people could look beyond the cover of the book and actually figure out what's written on the pages.