Demon Spawn

This blog is supposed to be about something that I feel strongly about. Well, something I feel strongly about is children. I am not a fan of kids, nor do I have patience for them. I never, ever, ever want to have kids. Why you ask? Because in today's society, I would be deemed a bad mother. I would not be my child's best friend. I would be their parent. I would punish them when they did wrong. If they came home with a bad grade, I would ask them what they did instead of running to the teacher demanding that they change the grade. I do not believe that children should be coddled. It's a tough world out there. If you don't teach them perseverance at a young age, they may never learn it. 

To be fair, though, there are other reasons that I do not wish to ever have children. One of those reasons is that I'm currently not financially stable enough to support another life, and I don't see this changing to that extreme anytime soon. I am financially stable enough for me, however. Another reason is that there is so much to see in this world. Beautiful places and exotic locations. There is no ounce of me that pictures a vacation with a child in tow. 

Granted, maybe some of my view on having children is linked to that fact that I have no idea how to deal with them. In my 27 years, I've held two children. The second one I wasn't too worried about dropping since I've seen him fall over from a sitting position and hit his head on the floor, in which he had no response and the mother started laughing. Now that kid is going places!

And if by some freak accident of nature occurs and have a child, I hope that he or she would make me as proud as this momma has to be of her boy:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g3Rf5qDuq7M

Five Ways to Win My Heart

1. Be passionate about my passions. Tennis, traveling, and Alpha Delta Pi are those said passions. Actually, I think I'll retract that first sentence. Although being passionate about my passions would be fantastic, I think I'm okay with being allowed to be passionate about my passions. Be supportive of me being addicted to tennis instead of making fun of me for it. Listen to me vent when my sorority makes me want to rip my hair out. Take trips with me or just be willing to visit new things in the area. 
2. Allow me to be me. I'm a strange being. I'm proud of being strange. There is no other me in this world. I'm blunt. I laugh at myself. I'm too sarcastic for my own good. I'm open minded and allow others to be their true self. I'm completely okay if you don't like me, just don't try to change me to benefit you.
3. Be yourself. I do not want to be with a sheep. I want you to have your own thoughts and opinions and be able to back them up. I want you to have your own passions and not care how dorky or nerdy they are. Be true to yourself. Don't lie to yourself and don't lie to me.
4. Respect me. I'm a lady, not a play thing. It does not get you any brownie points if you state your opinion on my body, except if you called me beautiful or pretty. Everyone knows that guys typically have on subject on their minds. Keep it as a thought and please don't verbalize it. It's usually not very becoming.
5. Spoil me. Okay, maybe not spoil me, but make me feel wanted. I want to know that you are thinking about me. For example: 'good morning' texts, flowers just because, little things just because they reminded you of me, taking me out.

Money for Nothing

A couple of weeks ago now, I was pulled into the office by my boss. I had not been previously called in for a meeting and had only been working there for about two months. Naturally, I was thinking, 'what'd I do?!?!' But then, she said she had to talk to another inspector first because she needed to be scolded. So then I figured that I wasn't getting in trouble or she would have just talked to me while I was there instead of calling me back later. Approximately one hour later, she called the assistant executive housekeeper to the office and then called me right after, saying she wanted to talk to us both together. So then I go in to this meeting and it starts with the executive housekeeper saying, "I've told you this before, but you remind me a lot of myself." She goes on to say that she thinks I'm bored in my position and thinks that I need to take on more responsibility and need to be challenged more. She asked if I would like to be a permanent opener and take over lost and found and basically be the next assistant in training. The only matter of business that still needs to be handled is that I think this should constitute a raise (my 90 days is coming up so I'm waiting until then). 

This whole situation got me thinking, though. I've told many people before that I do not think that money is the have all or end all of the world. My job can be very stressful. I take complaints from my housekeepers on a very regular basis. I get ignored by my fellow inspectors because they are high strung and I told them so. Also, I am pulled in a billion different directions on a regular basis. Even though it's stressful and causes over-stimulation, I love my job. To me, this is more important than making a lot of money. Call me crazy, but I would rather work at a place I love versus being absolutely miserable and having more money than I know what to do with. Granted, since moving back to Nebraska, I actually have fun money. I haven't been able to say that in years! I guess, in a nut shell, moving back to Nebraska was definitely the right decision. 

My Biggest Insecurity

"What's wrong with your face?" When I was working at Target, I would get asked this question almost daily, usually by a 7 or 8 year old child. Sometimes the parents would overhear and would be mortified that their child said that, but there was one time that the parent looked like they wanted an answer also. The one that took the cake, though, was just a couple of days ago. I was helping out the laundry staff since I didn't have any tasks to do and a 60 year old afghani woman asked me if I had seen a doctor.

I am 27 years old. I have had pretty severe acne since I was probably 13 years old. It wasn't that bad in college but ever since the fall of 2009, it's been uncontrollable. Before college, I was on amoxicillin because no product at the store helps me. I have been to a dermatologist and he was a flipping moron. When I studied abroad, the antibiotic stopped working because I just got used to it. Ever since, it's been more like a flesh eating bacteria vs. Acne.

Like previously mentioned, I have tried just about every product in the book, aside from acutane. For a time in Indiana, I was going to an aesthetician about every three weeks. This helped a lot! Unfortunately, I couldn't afford to go any longer and haven't gotten a chemical peel in probably a year. Currently, I just wash my face with cetaphil.

Acne has long been my biggest insecurity. I don't like people touching my face. I don't like to wear any type of foundation because it usually makes the acne worse. For the most part, I try to not stress about it because I'm trying to accept that there's really nothing I can do about it. The fact of the matter is, I'm embarrassed by it. I feel dirty. I wash my face. I don't eat complete junk. If I could have better skin, I would. That's another thing that I find interesting about this. My acne is only on my face and neck. I seldom get breakouts anywhere else.

I don't think I get taken seriously because of it. I think it's distracting in job interviews and that it turns off potential dates. However, I don't write this for a pity party. I write this because I want people to overall be more open minded. If I saw someone with a burn on their face, I would not ask them what's wrong with their face. I feel that acne is looked at as something that dirty people have and people that don't take care of themselves. I am clean and take pride in myself and my appearance (most of the time). I accept me for me and you for you. I don't try to change anyone I meet and I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I just wish more people could look beyond the cover of the book and actually figure out what's written on the pages.

The Death Flu

I don't remember the last time that I got the flu. I don't actually remember the last time that I was legit sick, with the exception of crummy allergies. Apparently, the flu bug that I caught recently decided to make up for the missed time. I'm currently on day six with this crap. I woke up Wednesday morning feeling a little bit off but didn't think too much of it. That evening, I went to the store and got some medicine and some other things to attempt to ward it off. Thursday when I attempted to get up for the day, I realized that I was down for the count. Literally. I could barely even stand, let alone walk anywhere. I spent the entire day sleeping. Then on Friday, I had a little bit more gumption but still snoozed quite a bit. Saturday and Sunday I was awake all day, but only because I couldn't sleep because I've been so dang hungry. Today I was going to attempt work but then decided against it. I'm still debating on tomorrow. I'm also supposed to play tennis twice tomorrow. Not so sure if that's going to happen either. And to anyone wondering, no, I did not get the flu shot. I never do. I don't believe it's worth it. 

The Positives and Negatives of Nebraska

Due to recent events, I have been giving a lot of thought to moving back to Nebraska. There are many, many reasons why, although it will be extremely bittersweet if it happens. So without further ado, here are my list of pros and cons of Nebraska.

PROS:
1. RUNZA! For those that don't know what this is, the best way I can sum it up is delicious. 
2. Sarah, Jessie, Jen, Mallory, etc. Life is just no fun if you don't have your best friends to experience things with.
3. Family. Family has never really been that important to me, but it is nice to be close to them.
4. Carson's. Refer to #1.
5. Bearcat football! I don't even like football, but I like my alma mater and we do have the best division 2 team out there.
6. The ability to save money. Since I would be living with my dad, I would be able to save a lot of money by not having to pay rent, or electric, or cable, etc.
7. New car! For real, this is actually in my near future if I get a job and it would actually be a car that I want. 
8. Possibly continuing school. A Masters degree is on my bucket list. Moving back to Nebraska would allow me to pursue this.

CONS:
1. It takes forever to drive anywhere. I left Indiana on Thursday and came back on Sunday and in that time probably put almost 2,500 miles on my car. I'm sorry, Bonnie.
2. Spiders, bugs, and mice. My dad's house has a lot of all of these things.
3. Sulfur in the water. Seriously, Panama, NE has issues.
4. Beta Alpha. Chances are, I would have to leave my advising position with these wonderful women, but there is also a pro that I could become an advisor with Alpha Epsilon or possibly even Theta Alpha.
5. Tennis. Yes, there is tennis in Nebraska, but not near on the scale that it is in Indy. Beside, my team is highly entertaining.

I'm sure that I am missing points from both the pro and con list. Obviously the pros slightly outweigh the cons. Hopefully I will have more news related to this post in the very near future.

Run Away

"I don't think so, Lucy. I'm no longer marketable. The scandal will follow me, stick to me. No, if I took a job it would have to be as something obscure, like a ledger clerk, if they still have them, or a kennel attendant." "But if you want to put a stop to the scandal-mongering, shouldn't you be standing up for yourself? Doesn't gossip just multiply if you run away?"

This dialogue is from a novel by J.M. Coetzee titled Disgrace. The scandal that they are referring to is that the man has slept with one of his students (was a university professor) and the university wanted him to get counseling. He refused and decided to resign from his position and move out into the country with his daughter. I have about 90 pages left until I'm done with the book, so I will probably write my opinion on that later. Anyway...

The scandal portion of this isn't what sparked my interest in the quote. The park that did is the last question. I have known many people in my short life that have said they were going to pack up and leave because they wanted away from all of the 'drama'. Every time I had someone say this, I got really confused. I always wondered why they would rather leave everything that they know and try to start completely fresh versus just ignoring and cutting out the things in their lives that caused said drama. Chances are, if they ended up running away, the same problems that they were trying to run from would have just caught up with them in a few years and they would then have had to move again. It really would have been a vicious cycle. If they were really in a dramatic lifestyle, then they would have had the drama increase by them leaving. People would be talking about why they decided to leave, and with Facebook/Twitter/Instagram/etc, people would continue to talk about what they continued to post about their 'new' life. 

With the new age of social media, it just isn't possible to run away. Beside, running away is extremely selfish. No matter how bad it seems that your life is, there will be someone that misses you. In the long run, it's also much harder. Therefore, when things are going bad and just seem overly dramatic, you should confront what is making you unhappy or what is bad in your life. You should focus on making the necessary changes to become a better person for those around you and, more importantly, for yourself. I'd be willing to bet that there is at least one person that you can turn to for help in getting your life on a more positive track. Personally, I would prefer people talking about how awesome my life is versus them saying how unhappy I appear.

Why I Agree and Disagree with Catie Warren

Not too long ago, Catie wrote something titled "47 Confessions from a REAL sorority girl". After reading what she wrote, I was left with very mixed feelings. There were some things that I think she was spot on about, although there were also others that were judgmental and didn't truly reflect what either sisterhood or Greek life is all about. So now I would like to go through and express my opinions on her 47 opinions.

1: "I haven't worn a bow in my hair since I was seven." My first instinct is to wonder if she's worn a bow in other places, but that is neither here nor there. I have never thought that bows were associated with sorority life. I really don't know where she has heard of this stigma or why she felt it necessary to add it to this list, other than to say there are 47 points. Also, a couple of women in my sorority DO where bows. It's because they are very into cheerleading and extremely passionate about it. These women are also some of the best leaders in the chapter. Perhaps bows should be more commonplace.

2: "I wear Lilly Pulitzer, but I don't like Jack Rogers so I don't own a pair." Not every sorority girl in the world owns Lilly Pulitzer. Although, I will admit that the vast majority do. That same majority probably own Jack Rogers, also. It doesn't make them any more or less "real" just because of what they wear. 

3: "My dad doesn't own a yacht." More on the topic of dads later, but does your mom own a yacht? Do either own a boat? Even if they did, it doesn't distinguish if you are or are not a sorority girl.

4: "Or a jet." Again, does your mom own a jet? I know one person that owns a jet (at least that I know of, for a fact). I do not know if this person was Greek in college and it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that they are extremely happy and obviously do pretty well for his/herself.

5: "Or a Lamborghini." I still think some of these points could have been thrown together to more like 30 confessions, instead of 47.

6: "He is not the CEO of a Fortune 500 company." While it is a stigma that daddy pays for most of his daughter's education and Greek life experience, it is actually not that common. There are many women in my sorority that paid their own way and didn't rely on their parents for anything. Even then, would they be any less "real" if they paid their own way and their dad DID work for a Fortune 500?

7: "My family doesn't live on a plantation." Not many people do anymore, but I wouldn't be surprised if you went to the south and found a sorority girl that does. 

8: "I actually studied at the library." It is common for Greek women to be found in the library. The majority of the chapters place a high emphasis on education. After all, it is why you are supposed to go to college in the first place. It is also very prestigious to be known as the chapter with the highest GPA.

9: "I didn't pursue a MRS. degree." I would be highly, highly surprised if this was ever offered, but it still made me laugh.

10: "I've never said 'Bless your heart', because I don't believe in being passive aggressive. A simple "screw you" works much better." You aren't from the south. People in the south don't use it just as a means to say "screw you", either. Also, after going through your Twitter feed, I am much inclined to think that you are highly passive aggressive. Lastly, saying "screw you" to someone is fairly immature. There are better ways to get the point across that you don't agree.

11: "I have a pearl necklace that my grandmother gave me, but I prefer to wear costume jewelry." I know several highly involved women in my chapter that wear pearls on a daily basis. It doesn't make them any more of a real Greek than wearing costume jewelry does. 

12: "I don't wear makeup at the gym." I don't know why anyone would wear makeup to go to the gym. I personally only go for myself. 

13: "I don't even always wear makeup at work." Neither do I. 

14: "I'm currently rocking my natural hair color." Have you always? I know more non-Greek women that dye their hair than I do those affiliated with a chapter.

15: "Not using condoms is stupid. I use them. You should too." What if you are allergic to latex? Ha. I do completely agree with this point, though.

16: "If the man in my life ever told me to "make him a sandwich," I would find a new man." Point A - MEN do not speak to women this way. Point B - If he is telling you to 'make him a sandwich', chances are he was already planning on leaving since there would be another man in the room with you, unless, of course, he said 'make me a sandwich'.

17: "I'm not always classy and I'd be willing to bet that you're not either." Most people aren't classy at all times in their day, but I'd also be willing to bet that you had more than your fair share of standards meetings.

18: "Slut shaming is stupid. I think that as a society we should stop doing it." We shouldn't shame, period. Everyone is free to live their life how they choose to do so. 

19: "My father is "Dad", not "Daddy". So this is how you prefer to refer to your father. That doesn't mean that someone that refers to theirs as "daddy" is Greek.

20: "I've been wearing New Balance 993s my whole life, but it doesn't bother me if the only reason you wear them now is because you're Greek. They're awesome tennis shoes." I do not own these and do not know a single member of Greek life that does.

21: "I would consider myself a moderate Republican. Anything too extreme is dangerous." If you truly believe that anything too extreme is dangerous, than you probably aren't like the majority of Greek women I know. The women I know are willing to push the envelope to get what they want, set high goals, and work until they obtain said goals. They also are not afraid of a challenge.

22: "Sometimes I simply refer to my sorority sisters as my friends. That's okay." Yes, that is okay. However, most people prefer to call them sisters because sisterhood is a bond that cannot be broken. Friendship can be.

23: "I've bought my own drink at a bar." You and probably 99.9% of the rest of the women in this world.

24: "I say 'like', and 'whatever', and 'k', and 'literally' entirely too often, but there are worse habits to have." There are worse habits to have. Although, if you use the aforementioned words too often, most people will think you are not capable of having an adult conversation or portraying your ideas.

25: "I've been known to smoke on occasion. I know it's bad, but there is no need for you to shout it at me from across the street." Yet again, it's your own decision. Although, chances are, those shouting at you do it because they care about you.

26: "I volunteer because I want to, not because I have to." Thank you.

27: "Reading is one of my favorite pastimes; Netflix binges are pretty great, too." Cannot disagree on either.

28: "I make bad decisions. Don't judge me for mine and I won't judge you for yours. Deal?" Everyone makes bad decisions. It's how we respond to those decisions that determine the judgment.

29: "Sometimes I fly Coach." Well, good for you. I prefer to fly Coach because then I have more money that I can devote to the location versus the trip there. 

30: "I don't own a Louis Vuitton bag." Do you own any designer bag? Perhaps that chapter member that has one decided to save up her own money to buy one for herself, instead of it being handed to her.

31: "I have really great friends outside of my sorority." So do the majority of Greek women.

32: "I don't understand sports and I don't pretend to." That is your personal preference. It doesn't mean you're a more real sorority girl because of it.

33: "My Sperrys haven't been worn in about two years." Since you like volunteering, maybe you should donate your Sperrys to someone that will actually want to wear them and appreciate them.

34: Seersucker is great if it's worn in moderation." I will just have to flat out disagree.

35: "Not everything I own is monogrammed." There are people in this world that absolutely love the monogram. Then there are people like me that would rather not have the world know what my initials are.

36: "I drive a foreign car." I don't. What's your point and did you buy the car yourself?

37: "I don't have a house in Vail or a penthouse in Manhattan." Personally, I think it's silly to want a house in Vail, IA and I really don't think there are many penthouses available in Manhattan, KS.

38: "I think that a higher power blessed everyone, not just people in the south." I think some people were skipped over, but that's just my personal opinion.

39: "Confederate flags don't offend me, but I respect that not everyone feels that way." Kudos.

40: "Marilyn Monroe is not my idol." One of the best women in my collegiate chapter adored Marilyn Monroe. I would also say that this member is one of the realest and most devoted members that graced this sorority.

41: "Neither is Jackie Kennedy." Although, she is an excellent role model.

42: "I'm not a size zero." Size means nothing. Someone can be a size zero and be exceptional. So can someone who is a 12, etc.

43: "I don't have "daddy issues"." Yet you sure mention him an awful lot in your post, but never once mention your mother. I personally am much closer to my father instead of my mother and I am grateful for the help he has given me. However, I think the fact of the matter is that you might be in denial.

44: "I think women should be strong and independent." I completely agree. Although, there are times when that means that you do ask for help and that you are not known to everyone around you as the bitch of the group.

45: "Not everyone in my sorority looks the same." That's probably because not everyone in the world looks the same. Everyone has their own identity.

46: "I take photos without 'throwing what I know'." Every Greek woman I know has pictures that are not just of this. Even if they do have pictures, it doesn't mean that they are less, it means that they are proud of the organization that they are a part of. They value the sisterhood and the bond that they have and they also wouldn't report another chapter member just because she got engaged.

47: "I didn't get married after college. I got a job." Is it a bad thing if someone gets married right after college? Are you jealous of them for doing so? Wouldn't you want someone to be happy? I know several women that got married AND got a job right after college. It doesn't mean they aren't real, it means they are wholesome people that not only did a man decide he wants to spend his whole life with, but a company decided that she would be the best person to lead them into the future.

50/50

Perhaps this is about three years in the making, but I have a growing pet peeve. Have you ever been watching a game of any sort that has commentators? They are going back and forth about each teams chances of winning and near the end of the conversation, one of them says, "it's a 50/50 shot". DUH!!!! For example, in last night's BCS championship game, Auburn played Florida State. There is zero chance that Alabama was going to win this game, so why does it need to be stated that Auburn has a 50/50 shot of winning?

For the majority of things in life, there is either black or white. Yes, some things have a gray area, but majority leans one way or the other. I've also noticed that most people that use this term usually use it as a way to get out of the conversation. They have nothing else of value to add so they just go with 'well I guess it's 50/50'. I see it used in growing fashion also. I probably hear or see it once a day. I know most people are wanting to state that the decision can go either way, but it seriously grates at my nerves when they just say it's 50/50. 

Let's be creative, people. If something is a close race, and has two options for outcome, come up with something more clever to say. Team A has 50% chance to win and so does Team B. There is 50% chance that someone will apologize and equal percentage for not. It has become a cop out! It has gotten to the point where people use it to later be able to back track. "Auburn is definitely going to win, but it's 50/50!" *Auburn loses* "Well, I said it was 50/50." No one has any faith or a backbone anymore. Everyone seems afraid of someone else's opinion. Why is it so hard to believe what you want to believe and value those beliefs, as well as your opinion?

My challenge to you is to stop being a sheep! Do research for yourself. Formulate your own thoughts and stop believing something that you're told just because you're told it. I know too many people that will do something just because someone else wants them to. Now, are you going to stop conforming and being more confident in your thoughts? Or are you going to just be a pawn in the game of life? 

Snowed In!

There are two ways to view this snow day: woohoo! or grumble, boo, hiss! For the most part, I'm going to lean toward the former. I love snow (stop looking at me like I have three heads). It's really beautiful and peaceful to look at. There is a small portion of me, however, that would rather be able to get out of my apartment. I physically can, but the sidewalk has about a three foot drift and it currently feels like -38F outside. This number is only supposed to go more negative as the day progresses. 

Most of the state of Indiana is in a state of emergency and under a level 3 travel warning. This means that if you are found on the road, you can be fined and even arrested. Therefore, I called off work this morning. I don't know if they were planning on being open or not, but I think I'll just keep my butt in my nice, warm apartment. I hope they used logic in deeming it unsafe to open since all employees travel to the office and then to a client's house. I suppose I shall find out tomorrow, although it's still supposed to be freezy butt cold. 

I haven't left my apartment since late on Saturday to go to my car and get a case of water that had been there for a couple of weeks. I figured that since it's supposed to be so cold, I might want to make sure I had a water supply on had. So far, I've gone through half the case. I suppose it's better than drinking other things. I usually spend my weekends at home, so I hadn't gone too stir crazy by the time I was heading to bed last night. This morning, however, I am growing closer to the "get me out of here" point! I made myself a "to-do" list, but I've been working on it since Friday night and it's just not keeping my attention. I've done a little bit of reading, watched some tennis, and sat through a few movies. By a few, I mean I've "watched" (listened to) Taxi, The Lion King, Hook, The Proposal, Speed, She's the Man (I actually watched this twice, not just listened to), and now, The Breakfast Club. As you can tell, I've been highly productive. 

Yoda watching the snow fall.

While it was snowing yesterday.

Snowing yesterday

Good morning!

My sidewalk isn't really useful

Brrrrrrr

Nice and frozen

*Grabs a blankie

When You Least Expect It

The other day, I was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The original one, not the creepy Johnny Depp one. Also, by "watching", I mean it was playing and I was half listening, half doing other things. In this half listening stage, I heard the following: "When? When will things change?" - Charlie. "Probably when you least expect it." - Charlie's mom.

This got me thinking. Is this why so many people are terrified of change? Do they not like change because, for the most part, it's completely uncontrollable? Obviously, there are some things in your life that you can change that you have complete control over, but say you walk into work one morning and all of a sudden it's managed by a brand new team. Automatically you are on guard because you don't know these people, you don't know their management style, and they also don't know you. It's like you're back at square one on your first day of work there. It's also, for the most part, completely uncontrollable in relationships, and I don't mean boyfriend/girlfriend relationships. Face it: some people are just really good liars and then, one day, they show their true colors. Maybe a blog for another day but it's been scientifically proven that people do not act of out character. If they've done something slimy once, chances are they will continue to slime you.

You know what I think about change, though? Laissez faire. Whenever I find myself wondering how I'm going to pay a bill, I don't stress over it. I think of ways I might be able to get more income, but mostly I just realize that it's in God's hands. If I'm supposed to pay that bill, He will provide. When it comes to finding "the right man" (does it exist?), why stress out on going on all of these dates and hunting when it could very easily come out of the blue, when you least expect it? I do have a tendency to set my expectations for people too high sometimes. But when I do, it's because I have complete faith that they won't slime me. However, not setting expectations allows you to completely focus on other things that just overall make you happier. Beside, then you aren't setting yourself up for disappointment. Therefore, this year I am going to just let things happen. If something is supposed to happen, woohoo. If not, not sweat off of my back. Just remember, when one door closes, another one opens. Looking at my track record, I should have a pretty dang big door coming. ;)